Man who marries for money
Gina’s story:
I am 38 years old and have been married for 6 years. I have 3 girls. My husband is an executive in a small company. We had a comfortable life. So I decided to stay at home and took care of the children.
For the first three years, I have a happy family. My husband took good care of my children and me. He always came home on time to enjoy my cooking.
Husband’s mistress
But things began to change. He started coming home late. He didn’t give me enough money to cover the bills and the kids’ school expenses. We didn’t talk any more. I tried to find out what was going on with him.
3 years ago, I found out that my husband has another wife. She had with him 2 sons. Her family is very wealthy and powerful. I confronted my husband about the affair. He didn’t deny it.
Since the confrontation, he still continues the relationship with her. Sometimes, he hinted that he wanted to divorce me. I can’t let that happen.
Marry for money
Even though we were married for 6 years, I have known him for 10 years. While he was struggling to find a job, I worked to provide for both of us. After our first daughter was born, I decided to stay home to take care of the children so he could focus on his work. I have done everything so he could be in the position he is in today. I couldn’t let that woman destroy my family.
I first talked to my parents. My parents tried to talk to him. But he avoided them. He has changed. He only meets and respects people with money. My parents are not those people.
My parents couldn’t do anything, so I tried to talk to his parents. They slammed the door in my face. His mother asked me what kind of wife I was. Why I don’t let my husband get ahead in life. She explained that if my husband marries that woman, her family would help my husband’s company expands. I couldn’t believe what I heard.
Save my marriage?
At one point my husband wanted me to come visit that woman’s family. He wanted me to accept that woman to be his wife. I refused. He got violent. He slapped me.
I was very angry but because my kids were in the house, I didn’t want anything to escalate. So I kept quiet for the rest of the day. In the evening, I brought my kids back to my parents’ houses.
It has been 5 months since we separated. My husband never visits the kids and me once. He still sent the money for us to live on. He put the check in the mailbox. That was it.
I don’t want to divorce him because I love him. I want him to return to me. I am so depressed and frustrated now. I want to give him an ultimatum - her or my death. But I am afraid to get his answer…
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Sherry Love’s corner:
Things are getting messy now but you should get rid of the thought of suicide. What good things can come from it? You, your kids, and your parents are the only people will suffer if you die. You have to calm down and think things through. Don’t give your husband and his family the satisfaction they want.
Signs of a cheating husband
Although your husband is totally at fault in this love triangle, your fault is also not small. 3 years ago you found out about your husband affair, yet you didn’t straighten him once and for all. You did confront him but he didn’t deny it. You continue living in this love triangle. Why could he do that, do you know?
Can it be that you are relying on his money to take care of the kids? He knew you don’t have a job or money. He thought he has total control over you. He believes that if you find out about his affair, so what? Do you have the courage to leave him? Where are you going to live? How are your kids going to live?
You led him to believe all those things. You were too gentle. That’s probably why your husband easily pushed you around. But the past is the past; you now have to think about your kids. Your husband isn’t a good man so you shouldn’t regret losing him forever.
If he is able to leave you after all you have helped him, he will be able to leave that woman if another woman with more money and power comes along. The woman who took him away from you and your kids will get what’s coming for her. Once she runs out of her usefulness, she will not be able to keep him. Your husband is an opportunist, he will chase after a better opportunity.
How to get over a cheating husband?
There are two options for you
1. You can persuade him to come back if you still love him. But this is probably a long shot. He didn’t see you and the kids for 5 months but he didn’t care. What kind of a husband and a father like him?
2. You can divorce him and move on. You should get some evidence about his affair while you were still married to each other. The stronger the evidence, the better your case will be in court. You should get your share so you will be able to support your kids on your own.
You have your parents on your side and that’s a big help. Your parents can take care of the kids while you try to find a job. It’s wise that you get out of this relationship so you can focus on your career and your kids’ future.
Divorce cheating husband
Don’t think about what you had lost today; think about what you would gain in the future. A husband like that isn’t worth crying over. It’s your kids’ future that you should be looking forward too.
In relationship, sometimes you have to be strong-headed. Get out of the hopeless relationship before it drains all of your energy and makes you crazy. A quick pain is always much better than a long suffering.
photo credit: TW Collins
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