Me or my money?

Susan’s story:

2 years ago, I met him through a friend of mine. He is 3 years older than I am. He still has 2 years before he graduates from college.

I came from a wealthy family so money wasn’t a problem for me. For 2 years, I took care of him. I paid for his cloths, books, bills, and even gave him some pocket money. I knew he doesn’t have a lot of money so I paid for all of our dates. He seemed fine with it. He told me not to tell this to any body. I listened to him.

I told him about my feelings many times. But he only smiled and kept quiet. I wasn’t bothered by his silence. I thought he needed some time to sort out his feelings. I was willing to wait.

But then I realized I have waited long enough. 3 weeks ago, I told him I wanted an answer. He thought about it for a while and said he just wanted to be friends. I was mad. I told him that I wanted back all of the money that I have given him. I stomped out of the restaurant before he could say another word.

I didn’t see him since and he didn’t call or came to visit me once. I still love him but I already told him to pay back the money. It feels a little awkward if I see him again. I know he can’t pay but I just want to get back at him for playing with my feelings.

I am not sure if I should meet with him again?

Sherry Love ‘s corner:

You are feeling guilty about asking him to pay back the money. You want to get back with him but you felt awkward about what you did.

Well, there would be a getting-back together if you two have dated before. You told him you loved him many times but he would either avoided or be silent. Yet you still continue on this romantic journey for 2 years, alone.

Just assume that you “get” back with him this time. What if you are mad at him again, are you going to ask him to return the money again? It’s like you are running in a circle.

Have you ever wondered why he kept stringing you along without expressing any feeling for you? Why did he keep accepting your money?

You may not know this but it seems like you and he are in a business transaction. You provided him with the money and he made you feel like you have a boyfriend.

Talk about your “boyfriend” for a bit. What kind of man was he? I understand that he is a student and doesn’t have a lot of money. But can he at least treat you a meal or something?

Think about this. What kind of man accepting cloths and money from a woman that he doesn’t love, except that woman turns out to be his mother? Have you ever think that he was using you to have new cloths and pocket money? He is like a parasite. He doesn’t have any self-respect. He doesn’t feel ashamed living off another woman’s money. Do you actually believe that he can be a good boyfriend?

You also are at fault in this mess. You are using money to trap him in a made-up romance. You don’t want to believe that he doesn’t love you. But you think you can use money to get him back. How long can you be with a man who only wants to live off you? You think it’s romantic now, but what about 2 or 5 year later?

It’s your decision if you want to mend this kind of relationship or not. But so far he doesn’t seem to be Mr Right for you.

Photo: trananhtu

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