Ben’s story:
I am 28 years old and am currently working in a small dining. I met her when one of her friends had a birthday at my restaurant. Her friends were a little stuck up but she was different. I could tell that she came from a wealthy family. The way she acts, the way she dresses, the way she talks, I was mesmerized when she talked to me.
She came to my restaurant more often after our small talk. She was always nice to me. I tried to talk to her but I couldn’t find a right opportunity. One day, I chased after her to return the credit card she forgot to pick up. I had a chance to talk to her. I worked up the courage to ask her out. I was sure that she might refuse. But to my surprise, she actually accepted.
I had to borrow money from a friend just in case one month of my salary couldn’t cover our dinner bill. I thought I had to treat her to some place nice and expensive. She probably is more used to that. But instead, we went to a movie and pizza.
We talked about a lot of things. She asked me about my job and my family. She told me that her family is a large beer contributor. Her parents were often on business trip so she was always with her nana. She said her nana was a gentle woman. She learned a lot from this woman.
She also asked me about my family. I told her the truth. My parents are blue-collar workers. I worked my way through high school and state college. I major in accountant and have worked in many restaurants until I got the assistant manager in this restaurant. It wasn’t a six-figure job but it’s enough to pay the bills and the rent. I didn’t know what was about her but I could really be myself with her. That was the greatest date of my life.
After that, I asked her to 4 more dates. They all went great. I wanted to tell her about my feelings but I always got chocked up whenever she smiled at me. She could make me very nervous sometimes. The fact that she is very beautiful didn’t help either. I finally sent her a card on Valentine to tell her my feelings.
A week later, she came back to me. She told me that she was flattered but I need to give her some time to think about it. It has been 5 months since that day but she didn’t give me an answer. She still comes to the restaurant and is nice to me, like always.
I love her and I am afraid that I might lose her. I have seen the rich and successful guys around her. I am just an assistant manager. I don’t know if I can compete with these guys. I am so frustrated and little nervous. I don’t know what to do?
Sherry Love’s corner:
You seem to love her very much but all she did was to be nice to you. When you expressed your feelings in a card, she told you to give her some time. There are 2 ways why she did that:
- There is a chance that she may not feel the same way that you do. It might be difficult to accept this but there is a possibility that it might be true. You said she was always nice to you. Is it possible that she didn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you that she doesn’t have any feelings for you?
- She wanted some time to make her decision among the men that has been following her, including you. You may have a chance yet but you have to wait. If you love her enough, you probably wouldn’t mind. But it’s wise to prepare yourself that she may not return your love. You have a chance. It’s just not 100%.
The way you described her and her guy friends, it seems that you feel they are different from you, socially and financially. These issues can put a damp on a relationship. If option 2 becomes true then you would have to overcome these issues. If not, then even if she accepts your love, your relationship will be inevitably rocky. Relationship is romantic and effortless in the beginning. But a strong one needs constant energy and compromises. Hope you’re ready for it.
Just in case if she can’t return your love, may be two of you weren’t meant to be together. You are still young, you will meet another woman.
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