Darren’s story:

I am 24 years old and currently in the army. While I was in college, I met a girl during spring break. We began dating for 5 months before we officially became a couple. She went on to grad school while I enrolled in the army. Our relationship was great. I thought I have found the one.

Although we were apart most of the time, I called to talk with her every day. I planned that we would get married in 2 years after she finished school. I didn’t tell her yet. I wanted to keep it a surprise.

But recently I have met another woman in my base. She worked as a secretary in my unit. She was just transferred here 6 months ago. She was new so I was assigned to help her get used to the new place. We have spent quite a lot of time together.

She told me about her family. She grew up in a farm. She tried her best to get out of the small town and into the city. When she was in college, she enrolled in the army.

In love with two women

She is funny and has a down-to-earth personality. I often invited her to lunch and we talked about family, farm, and life. We have so much in common. The fact that I was also raised on a farm has made our conversations much more interesting. I told her about my girlfriend. She told me that I was a lucky guy. After 3 months working with her, I think I began to like her.

She might be aware of my feelings but she seemed to keep her distant. No one in the unit suspected anything between us. There was nothing to suspect. We were just colleagues as far a she concerned.

When I was at the base, I missed my girlfriend so much. I always looked forward to come back to her. But when I was with my girlfriend, I missed the secretary.

Now I am not certain which woman that I love? Can a man love two women?

********************

Sherry Love’s corner:

You are making a big mistake by having relationships with both women. Your girlfriend trusted you but you are on the verge of betraying her. One thing you have done right is you told the secretary that you have girlfriend. At least you have set some boundaries between her and you.

You could fight the temptation now, but you would have to work with her for a long time. How long can you be faithful to your girlfriend? The secretary knew that you were taken, that’s why she kept a distant from you. She was doing the right thing. You might like her but she probably doesn’t’ have any feelings for you. She might only be grateful that you have helped her so much.

End a relationship before starting another romance

You may have 2 options:

1. You can continue the relationship with your girlfriend and keep thinking about the secretary. But you are taking the risk of losing both women. What do you think your girlfriend would think if she knows there is another woman in your mind? It’s an insult to a woman. It’s just like you actually cheated on her. And about the secretary. Do you actually believe that she would return your fondness? How sure are you?

2. You take some time and think it through. You have to make up your mind. But here are 3 choices:

1. 1. Avoid the secretary for a while. Continue a solid relationship with your girlfriend. You two have dated for years and have thought about the future. You know you love her but you are just briefly distracted by another woman.
   2. End your relationship with your girlfriend. Have a brief romance with the secretary but you can only hope that she may agree to date you. You have developed fondness for her but not sure if it’s love. But you are willing to take a chance.
   3. You end the relationship with both women and get a fresh start. By doing this, you must prepare to explain your reasons to your girlfriend. She will be hurt, so prepare some very exceptional reasons.

It’s not wise for you to continue your relationship with both women if you are not even sure how you feel about each one. It’s possible that you may love 2 women at the same time, but at the end you can only choose one to be your wife. It’s best to make a decision sooner or later.

photo credit: Cavo Kernich

photo credit: amish_shah

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written by Sherry Love \\ tags: Career or love, Compare lovers, Dealing with jealousy, Dealings with parents, divorce, Divorce and remarriage, Divorce stories, Loneliness, Lonesome Love, Long distance love, Love, Love married person, Money, Money in relationship, Online dating, Parents in your marriage, Past relationships, Patience, Rekindle romance, Relationship, Sherry's corner