4 days ago, I was having a coffee at Star Bucks. There was a heat discussion on the next table. Two women tried to decide whether White or Asian men make better husbands. It was quite interesting so I decided to order 2 more latte and a sandwich. I wanted to see how this discussion would go.
I sat with my back to them so I didn’t know how they looked like or how old were they. So I would just label them woman #1 and #2.
Who make best husbands?
Woman #1: I live in America for quite awhile. I see that American men know how to treat women better. Once when I went to the bank. I was behind a man. He came in first but held the door for me. It was a nice gesture. The other time when I went into a super market, there was an Asian man before me. I thought he was going to hold the door for me. But he let go of the door and it almost swung into my face. See Asian man doesn’t know how to treat a woman!
Woman #2: Really? May be that he didn’t know you were behind him. I have a friend who has an Asian husband. She said he really cared for her. He may not be in the kitchen a lot but he takes good care of the children. He spent so much time with the children. She seems to be really content with him.
Woman #1: I heard Asian men never get into the kitchen. They don’t help their wives with the household chores. They think the household chores are women’s responsibilities. It’s not fair. If we both bring in the money, we should have a fair share of chores.
Woman #2: But if he takes care of the children, isn’t it a responsibility? There is some white father I know don’t even care about his children. White men do help with the chores but they don’t do so well with children. They are a little too impatient.
…
The discussion went on for another half-hour with one prefers Asian man and the other prefers a white husband. There is nothing new since one couldn’t convince the other. So I left, but while I was walking I thought about the subject.
Asian men
Asian men and white men are raised in two different cultures. In Asia history, man brings in the money while woman stays at home taking care of the house and the children. But that was before when there is no job for women out there.
Nowadays, Asian women have to work along with their husbands to provide for the families. Although time has changed, Asian men still have the habit of leaving all the household chores for their wives. But one good thing is that most Asian men really involve in their children’s activities and schoolwork. That’s because in an Asian family, the father is supposed to give his children directions in life while a mother gives her children nutrition and health.
American men
American men also have a lot of plus point. They know their wives also have to work to pay the bills, so the wives get more respect. The household chores are equally divided. So is taking care of the children. The women have less work and is less tired. Of course, there are exceptions in both cases.
Both options have plus points. These are only my observations and opinions. I am not saying that all Asian men or all white men are like above. So please don’t be offended.
To the question posed above: Does Asian man makes a better husband than white man? I have to leave it to you.
photo credit: Jon Åslund
What do you think?
I think Asian-American male would be the best choice. Since he’s in tuned with both cultures. Asian cultures value such virtues as respect, hard work, education, family and while American culture value independence,think outside the box and flexiblity.
Thanks Mark for commenting. This is true. The combination of both is the best if an Asian American knows how to filter in only the best qualities from both kinds of men. But if you have to choose from a pure Asian or American man, who would be better husband? In another word, which qualities in a man are more important to a woman: hard work or independence?
Sherry Love
Whoever you will choose. His attitude will really depend on his parent’s upbringing when he was a child. Individual has its own unique characteristics and it has nothing to do with the race you belong. If you are really loving then you are loving.
The best kind of husbands are men that treats you right.
It doesn’t matter what race they are, at the end of the day, it all comes down to how you are treated and how you feel about the person. Nothing else.
Yeah, you can throw in money and family and work, but that’s all outer barriers/elements that influence how you feel.
I was born in Vietnam and was raised in the U.S. since I was 4. My wife is Caucasian. Our cultures are very different and we do argue about it from time-to-time, but at the end of the day, we know that we love each other and we understand the differences are only a part of us and it doesn’t necessarily makes us who we are.
I mean, if you’re a blind person, what does it matter what race or skin color their spouse is? Love is known to be “blind” right?
Just to be clear, I work from home. I allow my wife to do the things she enjoys. She doesn’t have to work and I’m constantly spending time with my daughter and making sure she is educated and prepared for the real world.
And I do help with the chores and show her my appreciation for what she does around the house. And I’m blessed that she shows me her appreciation as well.
I am an asian but my husband is white american. He is loving, caring, supportive.. to make it short.. “HE IS THE BEST” but if I were choose between asian and white man (in general).. Asian still the best. Asian men’s nature are caring,loving and very respectful. They’re really working hard for their family and takes care of their children very well. House chores are usually not equal BUT it doest mean they doesnt know how to do it. Wives tend to do all not just bec its their responsibility but because they love doing it. On pay day Asian men give almost all of their salary to their wife for house budget. When going out usually they pay for everything. They are usually very respectful to their wife’s parents and calling them “mom” and “dad” etc. Even I love my husband so much and he is the best… but in general.. no one can be compared to asian men.
Do not think in that way…think of it as to what kind of a man makes the best husband for you! that is very important!
Married dating site for those looking for a married affair, or in a relationship,
and looking for a marital affair or married dating.
marriedandlooking.co.uk
i think american men are best as asian men are chauvanist and dont care for women .every men in the bottom of their heart think they are superior to women .
but ,Asian Men are good at heart and as stated before have strong cultural background
A good husband may not be the one a woman would ultimately want to have an affair with which is something all men should strive to be in order to keep the marriage hot and passionate.
I love the subject of this article. I have dated both and am an AA female. It really comes down to the individual and his family background. But from having long term relationships with both here are my thoughts:
White Males:
Fun, exciting, good at DIY, exotic from an Asian female perspective, very self-assured (not to be confused with confident as there are also self assured but wimpy white guys too), help around house.
But some weaknesses that is hard for some Asians to adjust to. Not as respectful up to our Asian standards (not their fault but cultural fault), too outgoing so hard to trust the men as they are not shy around other women (from my experience Asian women are far more jealous than white girls bc we value family and closeness), likes more freedom than the Asian guy and sometimes is lacking maturity like dealing with an overgrown boy, too obsessed with porn/sex, too obsessed with romantic gestures and don’t realize that love involves more than just sex and kisses, some irresponsiblity, not making sacrifices without wanting a BIG return for their services, calculative, overly sensitive – easy to get hurt, tendency to be big flirts and cheat a bit more…Not too close to family, using others for personal gain – very aggressive selfishness, have weird hobbies or fetishes or weird thinking
Asian Men:
Very family and group oriented (when Whites always complain of this they now should realize group mentality is also a good thing), take care of elders, sacrifice for others without expecting much, not too sex oriented, very old fashioned in relationships not pushy for sex all the time, very generous financially in taking care of woman, not dating many girls at once (in general), not big flirts, easy to trust them, more reserved and shy, generally reliable, generally stable and do thing in a routine fashion so able to predict them better
Some weaknesses:
Show their temper easily (cultural thing), seem very serious mood (in general), not very affectionate physically (but at the same time not placing demands physically), slightly dull or quiet, some men not good at DIY or clueless, seeming to lack confidence at times but it’s not a bad thing they have the skill to do well but not conditioned to stand out in a group, not very original in ideas – kind of predictable and not spontaneous, physically not as masculine as other races (but the good thing is that you are not home worried about them cheating as much), not helping around the house or expect you to lift heavy things at times bc sometimes they are not strong enough to do it!, not very chivalrous…
Oh well, of course there are angels in all races and bad apples as well. But above seems to be the running theme among both groups. If I had to choose I would love an Asian American with a slight fun side but traditional values/respect about family or a Western guy who understood Asian culture very well. But I would say Asians would make a better long term husband til death do you part kind of thing. With Westerns I couldn’t predict how long our marriage would last, you hear many leaving after 20 years. Asian guys at that point are like yeah, my wife is old but whatever, I signed up for this and stick it out…
I think the best husband is someone who treats his wife good by giving her the best and making her happy all the time. Not about the race or nationality.