Anthony wrote:
I am 30 years old. I have been with my girlfriend for 7 years. Both of our families know each other. They are just waiting for the wedding bells.
Two years after dating, I mentioned marriage to her. She said it was not a good idea since both of us were still in school. She wanted me to get a master degree so I could obtain better job to sustain our future family. I agreed and began to work hard. I completed my master education just as she wanted. She was happy and began mentioned about wedding.
I thought there wouldn’t be anything standing in our way, anything except her old boyfriend. He came back, a wealthy investment banker. He met her family and talked to her parents.
I don’t know what happened but her family treats me differently since then. I called her many times but she didn’t answer. I went to her house to ask her out, she said she was busy.
One day she met me at my office. She said she couldn’t marry me. I knew at that moment that her family has chosen that rich old boyfriend. After that meeting, she avoided me all the time. I tried to contact her but couldn’t.
I have overcome everything to be with her. I did everything to make sure that I would be able to provide for her and our children. I don’t have a lot of money now but I have a stable job. Her mother once suggests that I should forget her. She didn’t say it in so many words but I could get a hint.
I am so depressed now. If I lose her, I would lose everything. What should I do now?
Sherry Love’s corner:
From what you told me, you seem serious about marriage. You invested so much energy and effort into your education so you can secure your future with her.
You are not at fault in this situation. You love her and have accomplished everything she asked you to do. Don’t fall into despair, think of a way to save your relationship.
But there is one thing that you should find out. Is it her decision to marry that rich man or her family pressures her? That’s the most important thing to find out.
If her family pressures her to marry the rich man, then there is a lot you can do. You should find a way to talk to her. You can wait for her after work. You went out for a long time; you should know where she often shows up. Whatever you have to do, you need to meet face to face once and for all.
If she really loves you, she will choose you no matter what. Her parents can’t force her to marry someone she doesn’t love (except there is some underlying reason that she is trying to hide. More reasons you should talk to her).
Tell her that you both have good jobs. You can support your family. Tell her that you have been dating for a long time and that you both have overcome so much. If she really wants to marry you, she may reconsider.
The worse situation would be if she actually chooses money over you. It’s harder to persuade her this time because money is a very strong temptation. She has just finished school and doesn’t have much money. She must be flattered to have a rich man follow her every step. Once there is a change of heart (especially for money), it’s not much you can do.
That’s how things can turn out. Do anything you can to save your relationship. And if, only if, she chose money over you, it’s wise that you should forget her and move on. It’s will be difficult to forget 7 years of romance but you have to try. Get more work or more friends to help you forget her. I hope that this is not the case but you should expect everything.
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