Wanda’s story:
My parents are married for 20 years and have 3 children, 2 boys and a girl. Both of my brothers are in college and rarely come home. I am going to college next year and am planning to stay at home.
My mother is working in a factory. She works 3-12 pm shift. She didn’t have much education so that was the only job she could get. She didn’t want to be laid off so she chose the shift that no one wanted. She often comes home about 2 in the morning, exhausted and burned out. She often went straight to bed without eating anything. I have studied many late nights, believe me, I know.
My mother has to take care of every single thing in the house from paying the bills, cleaning, cooking, and sometimes fixing things. I have tried to help her with the chores but she just shushed me away. She wanted me to study so I won’t have a difficult life like her. I love my mother so much.
My father is another story. He didn’t do anything in the house. He never got a job. He would leave in the morning to go to some café and then came back home in late afternoon asking for the supper. Sometimes he even criticized my mother for not doing a good job with the house.
I was so made sometimes. My mother never said anything. I don’t know how long I can stand that way my father treats my mother. Sometimes I just want to yell at him and hit him to let the anger out.
It’s unfortunate that your mother has to work so hard to provide for the family without the help from your father. In this situation, your mother is the only one has the right to yell at your father because she has to suffer so much. But instead she kept quiet. Why is that, do you know?
Your mother is a strong woman but everybody has a limit. Talk to your mother. Tell her that you appreciate everything she has done for the family and that you would try to finish school just as she dreams of. A little assurance would make a big difference.
Your father seems to be an irresponsible man. But you should look at the bright side; he didn’t get violent with your mother or you. That means you still can do something to make him realize that the way he has been treating your mother is wrong.
You are angry and you want to yell at him. Can yelling do any good? What do you think your father would react if his daughter disrespect and defy him? You will feel good if you can yell at him. But what would happen to your family? Would the situation be better or worse from now?
It’s wise that you should find an opportunity to talk to your father. If you shed some tears at the right time, gently give him some hints, or have a heart to heart conversation with your father, there is a chance that he would see his fault and return to the family.
You are their daughter. There isn’t so much you can do. Your parents must work out the issues by themselves. Just try not to make the situation more uncomfortable than it already is.
