Gina’s story:
I met him on a bus on my way to school. He approached me and we talked. When I met him for the second time, he asked for my phone number. We began dating since.
After a year, we got married. For 20 years, everything was perfect. We have had our ups and downs but we have overcome everything. We have one beautiful girl and two cute boys. Everything went fine until my sister-in-law began to show up at our doorstep.
My brother and his wife rented an apartment near my house. They often came to my house to do laundry. I love my brother so I was fine with it. But because my brother has to work during the day, my sister-in-law came to my house alone.
Caught my husband cheating
I work all day so I don’t come home until dinnertime. My husband’s work schedule is more flexible so he comes home sooner. I trusted my husband because he has never done anything unfaithful to me during 20 years of marriage.
When my oldest daughter went away for college, my husband began to change. He was always upset about little things. He criticized everything I did. He came home later and later. And one thing that troubled me the most was that he seemed happy whenever my sister-in-law came to the house.
I spent about 2 months to find out what was going on in the house while I was gone. I found out a devastating truth. My sister-in-law and my husband have been sleeping together. I confronted him. He didn’t say anything.
I didn’t want anybody to know about this affair. I kept it quiet and tried to settle it behind the scene. I didn’t want to hurt my brother, so I didn’t tell him.
I came to confront my sister-in-law in her house. I demanded her to end the relationship with my husband once and for all. I also forbid her to come to my house anymore.
Cheating sister in law
She was quiet at first. I thought things would go back to normal from then on. But no, she continued cheating with my husband. She then told my brother about the affair and tried to divorce him. She didn’t even want to take care of her two children. She slammed the door to my face when I tried to talk to her again.
My husband also rented an apartment and moved out. He told me he wanted a divorce. He said he wanted to be with my sister-in-law. I was shocked and devastated. How can he throw away 20 years of marriage just like that?
My oldest daughter heard about the family crisis. She phoned me to cheer me up. She wanted her father back but that was not up to her or me. She told me to let him go if he wants to abandon us. I know it’s hard for her to say that because she has always loved her father.
I tried to persuade my husband to reconsider his decision. He refused. All he wants is to divorce me faster so he can marry that woman. I can’t lose him but can’t keep him either. I am so confused.
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Sherry Love’s corner:
It’s unfortunate that your family was able to overcome anything in 20 years but couldn’t overcome this rocky step. It also is shameful that the affair was between your husband and your sister-in-law.
You were too naïve to let your sister-in-law to come and go whenever she wanted. Your husband’s hour was flexible so you didn’t know when he came home each day. You didn’t have to be a control freak but you should have some idea where your husband was.
You may realize by now that you gave your husband and your sister-in-law plenty of opportunities to be with each other. You have lived with your husband long enough to know what kind of a person he was. But you didn’t know enough about your sister-in-law.
Coping with cheating spouse
This woman was able to abandon her two children, divorce her husband, break up your family, steal your husband, and slam the door to a person who has helped her in the past. If she can do all this without a second thought, she might be more dangerous than you think.
In your situation, you may have 2 options:
- You came to talk to your husband again. You can ask your daughter to come with you. If he sees his family, he may realize what he is about to lose. You have to make him realize what your sister-in-law had done to your once-happy family.
- You have to move on. You can’t put all of your happiness on your husband. You still have to help your kids overcoming this crisis.
Divorce cheating husband
If your husband still goes on with the divorce, there is nothing you can do. You can postpone the process but what good can it do? Your husband still lives with the other woman. Your children still have to be in the middle of this crisis. Your brother still loses his family.
It’s wise to let him go. It will break your heart but it will help saving the rest of your family. Do what is best for your children.
photo credit: metrognome0